God does not accept manipulation on any condition. If you have in your heart to do something, and you give a person a different impression of what it is in your heart, and what you are doing and the reason for it; that is the same as a lie. There is no difference. There is no such thing as good manipulation, none! It is a lie! It is deceiving, and it is a deceiving way of handling life. When you are talking to someone and you are giving them the impression you mean one thing, and you do not. It is fakery, it is deceiving, it is manipulative, and it is a lie. It is a spirit from the pit of hell. The bottom line is this: it is a spirit of witchcraft!
Manipulation is a tool Satan uses to keep us from succeeding in living our lives in accordance with God’s perfect will. He uses manipulative tactics against us that can affect us in three basic ways.
Satan’s Manipulative Tactics against Us
1. To steal our time, Satan uses obligation, Example: We feel obligated to do something and/or volunteer to do something without first asking God.
2. To kill our focus on God, Satan uses distraction. There is allot of scriptures to back this up in biblical stories.
3. To destroy our relationship with God, Satan uses temptation. If you look at “steal, kill and destroy” – that is exactly what Satan’s purpose is - steal, kill and destroy.
There are different things in everyday life, peer pressure, (obligation), and temptation.
Manipulation stems from selfishness. Manipulation is also a tool that people use to succeed in getting their own way. Selfish motives are destructive. We think we know what we need, so we take it upon ourselves to get it. Only God knows what we need, and He knows how to get it to us, effectively, honestly, safely and permanently. If we do things our own way and with ourselves in mind, we will eventually fail. If by chance we succeed at first, we will still eventually fail if we do it our own way because peace will not follow us. There will be no peace!
When you manipulate someone, you totally disregard their feelings. Is this loving your neighbor as yourself? Is this the way you would want someone to treat you? Would you honestly not care if someone were purposely deceiving you because of a selfish motive?
Manipulation can also stem from doubt. If you have fear in your life, you will have doubt. Faith, joy, strength, and love can overcome fear in your life. If you have total trust in God to handle all things in your life, then you will have no fear, no doubt, and no need to manipulate. If you feel at times an urge or need to manipulate then you are not trusting God to handle things His way, and in His time. You must learn to wait on God. If you are not waiting on God, you are walking ahead of God and his will for you and you are walking in disobedience.
Using manipulation to help someone only hurts them. If you discover you have been using manipulation or deceit to get a person to do what you feel God wants them to do in their own life, you are not helping that person. God looks at a person’s heart. If a person is doing what God wants them to do, because you manipulated or deceived them into doing it, God will not honor that person’s efforts in what they have done, because they did not do it for God. It did not come from their hearts. If your goal is to encourage someone to follow God’s will in their own lives then you must set a clean, clear example for yourself. If you are doing selfish things against God’s will in your life, how can you expect someone to follow your advice?
The Most Effective Way to Encourage Someone to Follow God:
1. Set a good example yourself. Be obedient to the Father to the best of your ability in everything you do.
2. Say only what God tells you to say to the person.
3. Allow the person to make their own choices in life.
Parents Manipulating Children:
As parents you are responsible to raise your children when they are young, in a manner according to God’s will for them. However, they have choices. If they make a wrong choice, we are to correct them and encourage them to make a better choice the next time. We are not meant to deceive our children to trick them so that they make the choice we want them to make. As we continually guide them into safe righteous paths and teach them the ways of God, we must also allow them the right to make their own mistakes.
Steps to Take to Avoid Manipulative Habits or Patterns in Your Life:
1. Always check to make sure what you want, or need is of God.
2. Submit the need or problem to God.
3. Follow God’s direction.
4. Do not do anything or say anything other than what God has instructed.
5. Try (make a continual solid attempt) to avoid getting yourself into situations where you will feel trapped or afraid. This is when people tend to react.
6. Live your life in accordance with God’s word.
7. Walk and talk with God and do not forget to listen! Give God a chance to talk to you.
“If you Allow someone to manipulate you through obligation, distraction or temptation then you are living for - their good pleasure!”
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